Two people reveal how gambling affected their lives

Daily Mail Online
 
Two people reveal how gambling affected their lives
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Cheering for your country at an international tournament brings a familiar range of emotions, from joy when they do well to despair when they don't. 

While it's hard to avoid feeling down when your team loses you can avoid one thing - Bet Regret. This is the sinking feeling you get the minute you make an impulsive bet, often when drunk, bored or chasing losses.

Here, Ben and Mina share their stories of how gambling harms impacted their lives, what they did to overcome them, how they sought help, and the ways they're turning things around.

Ben, who lives in the north of England and works in sales, has a big group of friends who regularly meet each other in the pub.

He first got into gambling through his dad, who enjoyed gambling on racing and football.

'He used to let me bet pocket money on the horses,' Ben says. 'I was always more into football so when website gambling took off, I started doing accumulators where you spend a quid here or there on six or seven football games.'

Ben found betting on his phone to be a lot more casual than traditional ways of gambling, and he'd discuss bets with friends on WhatsApp.

'I feel pressure to be part of the conversation I suppose, and I definitely put money on things like boxing despite not understanding it,' he says. 'It was just so I could be involved with what my mates were talking about.

'No one ever talks about losses. So, it's hard to even know if someone's got a problem or not, because if you haven't won for a while, you just won't say anything...

'And when anyone loses too much, we just laugh at them. That's why people don't reach out.’

'I'd say 90 per cent of the time I stick to that and then it's just every now and then I get a bit carried away,' he says.

'In my head I'm telling myself ''I'm definitely still winning'' but then you look at your bank account and you realise you're £200 to £300 down.

'If I ever bet more than I should have I'll panic a bit, delete all the apps and step away.'

Keen to understand the impact betting was having on his finances, Ben used the completely anonymous tools, like the spending calculator, available on the BeGambleAware website.

'It makes you think where that money should be spent and the consequences of gambling it,' he says.

'It's really good to have a resource that you can use to help yourself. The site is good because it's all anonymous - you don't have to give your details or anything.'

Ben also takes time to read testimonies from other young people who are worried about their gambling 

'Hearing other people's stories that are similar to mine kind of makes you think '''Hang on a minute''… you realise you're not a million miles away from it,' he says.

'It's comforting to know there is help out there if you need it but also that there's loads of tools and advice to help you out online.' 

Mina lives with her husband and two children in Manchester and works part time in the NHS covering mental health. While she loves her job, she also finds it very demanding.

'At night time when the kids have gone to bed gambling on my phone is one of the things I do to switch off,' she says. 

'I try to set myself limits because while you can sit there and say you are in control, sometimes you're not.

'I thought about speaking to someone and then I'd talk myself out of it - I think if I was able to speak more openly with people in my family then I'd be able to handle it better,' she says.  

'I think it's a bit of a taboo in the Asian community, especially when it comes to women. I couldn't go to my mum or dad - they'd hit the roof.

'There's also a stereotype around being a mum - your kids should be your priority and I do feel rubbish that I can't buy them stuff or take them out because I'm short from gambling. No one knows apart from my husband.' 

To find the support she needed, Mina turned to the BeGambleAware website. 

This is full of helpful resources including the spending calculator, an anonymous and confidential tool which lets you work out how much you spend on gambling. 

'The calculator helps because it visually shows you how much you're spending and you can't ignore it,' Mina says. 

Mina also uses the National Gambling Helpline's live chat service, which has advisers available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  

'Having the National Gambling Helpline's live chat on the BeGambleAware website is so helpful,' she says. 

'Being able to speak to someone straight away is a really good thing. They can talk you through what's going on - it's so nice to know someone's there to help.' 

Anyone affected by gambling harms in England, Scotland and Wales can call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or chat to an online advisor for one-to-one confidential advice, information and support.